So we went to the RE today for our second US. If you'll recall from the boards during our last US we saw an amazing heartbeat. So the doc said that she figures our chances of MC go down to about 10%. I must be the most unluckiest bitch in the world cause I have MC'd. WTF?! Needless to say today has been really hard for DH and I. We are just in shock. Even my RE said she didn't see this coming at all. I thought she was going to cry in the room. I go in Monday for a d&c. RE wants to send the baby off to be tested. I guess if there is a silver lining it would be if they came back and would give us some really rational explanation that we can get treated for. Of course, the chances of that are slim, we think. So safe sex and no trying for another couple of months. Ugh. I told DH - does this mean that if it took us a year and a half to get pg with this one will it take another year and a half for a miracle like this to happen again?
We did have the adoption talk today. We're definitely one step closer to either that or donor egg. Of course, we'll try one more IVF as soon as we can and then that's it if we try for that at all. Part of me wants to say I an DONE. But I am sure I will feel differently once this shock wears off.
To make matters worse - one of the bridesmaids in my wedding had her baby today. Great - she gets one and I get one taken away. Life is really fucking cruel. No one deserves this. AND if one person tells me or DH that "it just wasn't meant to be - that God had a bigger plan for us"...well you better watch our cause you might get socked in the fucking face!
Hey - How was that for a confession? I think Dave would NOT approve of this post. How about you?! haha
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
believe me i completely understand, I had 3 ultrasounds and heard the heartbeat 4 times, it was 180. I was told my chances dropped to less then 10% also, I miscarried at 14w1d. It felt as if my world exploded. I got my analysis back to find out that my baby was a girl and everything was normal.
ReplyDeleteThe pathologist recommended i get more blood testing done.
Dave can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
SHIT! That is the worst possible news...it makes me sick. I'm as angry and sorry as I can possibly be for you. This was *not* meant to be...life is just randomly cruel sometimes and this time, the shit happened to you.
ReplyDeleteYour bridesmaid can shove it...and so can D@ve!
Hugs to you and your husband, this should not have happened to you.
I'm sooo sorry. I will never understand why life does this.. Don't you think after the pain of infertility, we should be EXEMPT from any complications? It just doesn't make sense. And then there are the women who get pregnant easily and miscarriage never even crosses their perfect little minds or their perfect little pregnancy. Such bullshit.
ReplyDeleteJPS-i don't even know what to say. That's one of the reasons I don't like to give patient's statistics. Because sometimes they're crap. I'm so so sorry this has happened to you guys. To be so happy and reassured and then have the rug pulled from under you is the worst crap ever. I really am so so sorry.
ReplyDeleteJPS23, I am so sorry for you and your DH. It just made me very sad and angry reading your post... why does life hv to be so hard ... I re-lived my 2 miscarriages. Nothing I says will make you feel better, please know that we are there for you... you are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteNoooooooo!!! I'm so sorry!! There are no words that sound right! This just fucking sucks, you don't deserve this, life is so unfair sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. I'm praying that happiness finds you again soon.
Oh mate I am really sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kelsey. When IF girls finally get a BFP we should automaticly be placed in the no complications/easy pregnancy group. We deal with enough heartbreak and shit getting to the BFP stage.
i'm so incredibly sorry to hear about this. that's so unfucking fair. you and your DH are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear this. Im praying for you both. I was even confident for you. Playing this game is kinda like russian roulette. It can just about kill you. Its soo not fair. And if you need to knock someones lights out, go ahead! Ill post your bail!
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought I had a bad day and you go and top me! I am so sorry for your loss. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!!! You are not alone in your tears.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry. Wow, that is suckage to the power of 10. Man, I just don't know what to say.
ReplyDeletenot fair :(
ReplyDeletesorry
Oh JPS I am so sorry. I was rooting for you so much. Hang in there and regroup in another month. It is such fucking bullshit. If there are any answers, I hope you get them. Why can't this be easier for us? Any chance you and hubby want to hop on a cruise in the Caribbean with us in two weeks? :) I'll be ready to go through this again with you in April.
ReplyDeleteOh god, i'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say, except i'd be feeling the same exact way as you. Not fair at all and you do not deserve this.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I cried reading your post. This should not happen to any of us.
ReplyDeleteYou've got to be effin kidding me! I am sooo sorry JPS!! I really thought this it for you. It's not fair that this happend to you. :o(
ReplyDeleteJPS, I'm so sorry. I'm sure they already do this, but please make them do another u/s before D&C. I know it's just how our crazy IF minds work, but I wanted them to check and check and check before giving me the meds for my ectopic. Even after, I still second-guessed myself, but I know it was the only option in the end. My heart breaks for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys. Erica B - I have thought about that. They did say they do one last US to be sure before they proceed with the d&c. They are making me get there a half an hour early to get that done before. I had wine - just two glasses - last night. I know that sounds like giving up - but well, I feel like I have.
ReplyDeleteRie - I would love to jump on a cruise with you but DH has this crazy schedule for work. But rest assured - we have already talked about doing something.
Oh crap! WTF! I'm so sorry!!!! I was hanging on to your happy news like it was my own. I'm so sorry. No words can make you feel better. Let me know if you want to talk. My D&C was 2 1/2 weeks ago. Feels like a lifetime ago. I wanted something SO different for you.
ReplyDeleteMomsie
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, It seems so unfair that these things happen to the best of us when all those scanky crackhead whores can go full term without even a glitch in their pregnancy. I am sending you many virtual hugs and hoping you soon get the answers you seek. Once again I'm soo sooo soooo sorry Hun!
ReplyDeleteJP- I'm in shock. I just read your post today. We were all cheering for you and we'll still be on your team as you go through the waves of grief. It is sooo effin unfair. I cannot understand it.
ReplyDelete~barren
I don't know what to say, I can't hold back the tears...I wish I could be with you to pour the wine and give the hugs.
ReplyDelete