Thursday, March 11, 2010
Don't Wanna Miss Anything? How to Subscribe to Blog Posts (Thank you, KB)
Am reposting KB's comment for everyone's benefit:
"You can also subscribe to threads on the blog and have new messages sent to you via email. Click on the comments, and just below the comment box on the right side is a blue link "Subscribe by email". (You must be signed in to do this.) You'll have to subscribe individually to the blog posts you want to follow, but it makes keeping up with everything SO much easier!
"You can also subscribe to threads on the blog and have new messages sent to you via email. Click on the comments, and just below the comment box on the right side is a blue link "Subscribe by email". (You must be signed in to do this.) You'll have to subscribe individually to the blog posts you want to follow, but it makes keeping up with everything SO much easier!
Am I retarded?
I can't figure out how to post on the Google group. There aren't any "reply" or "edit" buttons. I feel about as technologically adept as my mother.
HELP!
CONFUSED IN CANADA........
So, I have a confession to make....
I know I keep saying I'm holding off on the FET until I lose weight and become more healthier-blah blah blah..Actually, that's only a small reason why I have kept putting it off. The real reason is because I'm scarred, totally freaked out and going out of my mind on what to do. I know a lot of you ladies have done this numerous times only to be heartbroken over and over again and I look up to you ladies and admire your strength to keep going, I just don't think I'm that strong mentally. I'd like to think I am but this whole IF thing has made me feel weak, defeated, drained, helpless, vulnerable, cowardly & intimidated (just to name a few lol) I am afraid of getting disappointed again and having my heart broken. It took me so long to get over my first BFN and I don't know how I will be able to handle another one. Sure my weight has played a part of me getting started but I have been reading up a lot on this and I know that there are some risks but not as bad as many make it out to be. Soooo, I'm even more confused then ever on what to do.
DH and I sat down and had a very long talk this past week-end and he's really pushing me to go forward and do FET now, it's me that's holding us back. So, to keep the peace I decided I will go for FET in May, I'm just worried that I may back out of it with more excuses. I just don't know if I can find the strength to go on if I have another BFN at the end. I'm in a hole and don't know how to get myself out of it. I'm soo stressed, I feel that I am alone and nobody really knows how hard it is but you ladies. It's sad because I'm already setting myself up for disappointment :(
I know I keep saying I'm holding off on the FET until I lose weight and become more healthier-blah blah blah..Actually, that's only a small reason why I have kept putting it off. The real reason is because I'm scarred, totally freaked out and going out of my mind on what to do. I know a lot of you ladies have done this numerous times only to be heartbroken over and over again and I look up to you ladies and admire your strength to keep going, I just don't think I'm that strong mentally. I'd like to think I am but this whole IF thing has made me feel weak, defeated, drained, helpless, vulnerable, cowardly & intimidated (just to name a few lol) I am afraid of getting disappointed again and having my heart broken. It took me so long to get over my first BFN and I don't know how I will be able to handle another one. Sure my weight has played a part of me getting started but I have been reading up a lot on this and I know that there are some risks but not as bad as many make it out to be. Soooo, I'm even more confused then ever on what to do.
DH and I sat down and had a very long talk this past week-end and he's really pushing me to go forward and do FET now, it's me that's holding us back. So, to keep the peace I decided I will go for FET in May, I'm just worried that I may back out of it with more excuses. I just don't know if I can find the strength to go on if I have another BFN at the end. I'm in a hole and don't know how to get myself out of it. I'm soo stressed, I feel that I am alone and nobody really knows how hard it is but you ladies. It's sad because I'm already setting myself up for disappointment :(
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tax Deduction for Us Unfortunate Infertiles
KB just reminded me of this so I am reminding you all -- make sure to claim everything you've spent on IF treatment this year, including meds, trips back and forth to the RE (you get 24 cents per mile), even all the money you spent on the stupid pregnancy tests -- it's all deductible if it exceeds 7.5% of your adjusted gross income (we spent over $30K this year, so fuck yeah, we qualify. It would be more than that, even, if I could find the rest of our receipts.).
Here's the link to the IRS publication: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p502.pdf
Here's the link to the IRS publication: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p502.pdf
YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING.
Okay, so I just called for my fertilization results and I can't believe out of 20 eggs ONLY 5 FERTILIZED!!!
I am so over this. I am going home to cry and eat. This is bullshit.
Hi, girls! I wondered where everyone went...
I don't know the whole story, but I hear it had something to do with the lack of free speech. I know I said some things that would probably get me banned, so I wonder why I can still sign on. Hmmmmm....
So glad you all reconvened here on a site where we can be free to say what we feel.
I have pretty much been staying away from all things fertility-related, b/c I finished 3 IVFs with nothing to account for them, so I was pretty bitter.
I just had my retrieval yesterday for my next cycle. Transfer will be Friday, and I am already feeling the rage from Progesterone. I want to smack something, anything. Preferably a pregnant woman. I am feeling guilty because, after the third time my mom told me to " talk nicely to my grandbaby eggs" I told her I will no longer be discussing my infertility openly with anyone, and I will let her know when I get pregnant. I am tired of her chirping like this is something as easy as going to the store to pick up milk.
Oh, and I could have killed my husband yesterday when he actually complained about all the times he has to whack off in a cup. Are you serious?
I haven't had a chance to read all of the posts yet, but I am sure they will be great!
Nice to be back with you all!
Babywarrior /Becky
Hiding behind the veil of infertility...
I work in retail - a high-end fitness apparel store. I live and work in an area of NYC that is FULLLLL of babies, nannies, Bugaboos and baby bumps (yeah for me). These lovely pregnant women and mothers of infants, as well as Dominican nannies, frequent my store on a daily basis and it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I am purposefully acting disinterested in their JOY.
I know these pregnant women want me to congratulate them on their baby bumps and comment on how well the groove pants still make them look slender even with their 5 1/2 month teeny tiny bulge. I hear them, while in the fitting rooms, talking about how big their boobs have gotten and how they are so upset that they can't spin 4 times a week anymore. They sport their baby bumps, their 7 carat diamond rings and their perfectly coiffed, side-swept bangs and I can't get them out of my store fast enough.
Then I have to contend with the Stroller-Moms, who have JUST given birth, talk not only about their lactating HUGE boobs, but how they use to be a 2 and now they are a 6 and they so can't wait to loose the baby weight. Their babies are cute, small and foreign to me. The come in sporting the Baby Bjorn, the Camelean Bugaboo, equiped with a Gucci diaper bag and of course beaming from their accomplishment.
I hear these ladies talk about how it's their 2nd or 3rd baby and it was so easy to get pregnant and deliver - one women who just had her third talked about how she has twins that are less than 2 at home and she works full-time. It's a safe assumption that working moms in NYC with 3 babies under 2yo have 1-2 nannies helping them attain their greatness in society - oh, poor them. It's another safe assumption that a women looking like she is in her late 30s/early 40s with 3 babies under 2 did have IVF... but I don't dare make that assumption out loud.
I just blankly stare at them and sometimes I am able to squeeze out a strained smile, but mostly, I find myself wishing that I could do a disappearing act and wake up on a sandy beach with a pina colada in my hand.
What the hell can I say to these women? I don't feel guilty for not joining in the female circle-jerk that occurs in my store, but I feel awkward.... I feel out of place and odd.
Just needed to vent a little because obviously none of these women in my store could stomach my story of my missing baby bump.
I know these pregnant women want me to congratulate them on their baby bumps and comment on how well the groove pants still make them look slender even with their 5 1/2 month teeny tiny bulge. I hear them, while in the fitting rooms, talking about how big their boobs have gotten and how they are so upset that they can't spin 4 times a week anymore. They sport their baby bumps, their 7 carat diamond rings and their perfectly coiffed, side-swept bangs and I can't get them out of my store fast enough.
Then I have to contend with the Stroller-Moms, who have JUST given birth, talk not only about their lactating HUGE boobs, but how they use to be a 2 and now they are a 6 and they so can't wait to loose the baby weight. Their babies are cute, small and foreign to me. The come in sporting the Baby Bjorn, the Camelean Bugaboo, equiped with a Gucci diaper bag and of course beaming from their accomplishment.
I hear these ladies talk about how it's their 2nd or 3rd baby and it was so easy to get pregnant and deliver - one women who just had her third talked about how she has twins that are less than 2 at home and she works full-time. It's a safe assumption that working moms in NYC with 3 babies under 2yo have 1-2 nannies helping them attain their greatness in society - oh, poor them. It's another safe assumption that a women looking like she is in her late 30s/early 40s with 3 babies under 2 did have IVF... but I don't dare make that assumption out loud.
I just blankly stare at them and sometimes I am able to squeeze out a strained smile, but mostly, I find myself wishing that I could do a disappearing act and wake up on a sandy beach with a pina colada in my hand.
What the hell can I say to these women? I don't feel guilty for not joining in the female circle-jerk that occurs in my store, but I feel awkward.... I feel out of place and odd.
Just needed to vent a little because obviously none of these women in my store could stomach my story of my missing baby bump.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Checking in... been away a bit
Sorry I've been away. I've been on an IVF hiatus. No thinking about, reading about or talking about IVF. It's kinda been nice. Looks like I've missed a BUNCH. Sounds like we have some BFP's in our midst. Don't worry gals. I love ya anyways!
So, I got my AF yesterday. First one since D&C 5 1/2 weeks ago. I know it's completely insane, but we had lots of BMS... and I was just hoping...
Also got the results of the genetic testing back from embie. Turns out it was a chromosomal anomoly... and was never a viable pregnancy. They said it was Trisomy 15. I don't know if that makes me feel better or not. Finally get one to stick & it's not good anyways. She told us it was a little girl. That was just really upsetting to me. I wish she wouldn't have told us that. It was a little easier I think when it was an embie & not a girl. Still tearing up think about it.
So, my RE broached the subject of Donor Eggs. Looks like I'm just an all-around poor responder. She didn't say DOR, but she danced around it. Sucks. We went into this thinking we were MF alone & this should be easy... silly us. She said since we did the package deal & have one more try, lets try again with mine, but to keep DE in our thoughts in case it doesn't work. Frankly, if the next try doesn't work, I don't know that we'll try again. Plus, we're just broke financially from all this IVF & there is NO way we can aford the extra for DE's. That said, I was telling my mom & sisters (all great, btw) about it & two of my sisters offered to donate thier eggs. Needless to say, we all had a bawl about how great that was. The benefit is that it would save us some money, but at the same time, it would still be extra cost. Anyways, it's definitely something to think about.
So, I got my AF yesterday. First one since D&C 5 1/2 weeks ago. I know it's completely insane, but we had lots of BMS... and I was just hoping...
Also got the results of the genetic testing back from embie. Turns out it was a chromosomal anomoly... and was never a viable pregnancy. They said it was Trisomy 15. I don't know if that makes me feel better or not. Finally get one to stick & it's not good anyways. She told us it was a little girl. That was just really upsetting to me. I wish she wouldn't have told us that. It was a little easier I think when it was an embie & not a girl. Still tearing up think about it.
So, my RE broached the subject of Donor Eggs. Looks like I'm just an all-around poor responder. She didn't say DOR, but she danced around it. Sucks. We went into this thinking we were MF alone & this should be easy... silly us. She said since we did the package deal & have one more try, lets try again with mine, but to keep DE in our thoughts in case it doesn't work. Frankly, if the next try doesn't work, I don't know that we'll try again. Plus, we're just broke financially from all this IVF & there is NO way we can aford the extra for DE's. That said, I was telling my mom & sisters (all great, btw) about it & two of my sisters offered to donate thier eggs. Needless to say, we all had a bawl about how great that was. The benefit is that it would save us some money, but at the same time, it would still be extra cost. Anyways, it's definitely something to think about.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
This Season on the Real Housewives of Infertility…..
[Picture yourself with big hair, lots of makeup, and slutty clothes then cue the music.]
Can the missing Demold ever be found? Miss Mango eggs on a never-ending stream of catty comments about fertiles and evil sister-in-laws. Jes faces death due to an undiagnosed ectopic….will she survive? Kelsey, Barren-Bipolar, and JPS are overcome with tears and explore alcohol with negative Betas and miscarriages…and there are even rumors of special brownies! Will Lizz get a written apology from the hospital which screwed up ICSI? Raven comes to the realization that her ovaries are not younger than their biological age and starts auditioning young girls to be her “Ovary Angels”. Will Holmes vagazzle herself for her studly GI? She was heard saying “every girl needs a little bling.” Can LAP continue to get everyone to call her “Baroness” now that she is pregnant? BB gets her SISTER pregnant! Have one or more of the girls become drug pushers? Marriages stretched to the breaking point…can they spring back? How wild do the girls get when Kiellara takes them on an alcohol-filled weekend transported by Zeppelin? Is Golde a crack-whore? Has KB started a new religion worshiping Joan? Watch Dotty become part of this cult and experiment with honey, tea, candles and dust….will it work? Was Summer murdered in the bathroom late at night? Are the blobs growing? Will the girls combine their forces to destroy the evil Dave? Watch this season to see!!!
My only excuse is that my depression has led to many too many hours of watching this Bravo Series! My apologies for scarcsm regarding your real situations. This came to me during a dream last night! Feel free to have a cat-fight regarding your role. I’m sure there is some “lost tape” out there for the “Watch What Happens: Reunion Special” ---what do you think the highlights will be?
Can the missing Demold ever be found? Miss Mango eggs on a never-ending stream of catty comments about fertiles and evil sister-in-laws. Jes faces death due to an undiagnosed ectopic….will she survive? Kelsey, Barren-Bipolar, and JPS are overcome with tears and explore alcohol with negative Betas and miscarriages…and there are even rumors of special brownies! Will Lizz get a written apology from the hospital which screwed up ICSI? Raven comes to the realization that her ovaries are not younger than their biological age and starts auditioning young girls to be her “Ovary Angels”. Will Holmes vagazzle herself for her studly GI? She was heard saying “every girl needs a little bling.” Can LAP continue to get everyone to call her “Baroness” now that she is pregnant? BB gets her SISTER pregnant! Have one or more of the girls become drug pushers? Marriages stretched to the breaking point…can they spring back? How wild do the girls get when Kiellara takes them on an alcohol-filled weekend transported by Zeppelin? Is Golde a crack-whore? Has KB started a new religion worshiping Joan? Watch Dotty become part of this cult and experiment with honey, tea, candles and dust….will it work? Was Summer murdered in the bathroom late at night? Are the blobs growing? Will the girls combine their forces to destroy the evil Dave? Watch this season to see!!!
My only excuse is that my depression has led to many too many hours of watching this Bravo Series! My apologies for scarcsm regarding your real situations. This came to me during a dream last night! Feel free to have a cat-fight regarding your role. I’m sure there is some “lost tape” out there for the “Watch What Happens: Reunion Special” ---what do you think the highlights will be?
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