[Picture yourself with big hair, lots of makeup, and slutty clothes then cue the music.]
Can the missing Demold ever be found? Miss Mango eggs on a never-ending stream of catty comments about fertiles and evil sister-in-laws. Jes faces death due to an undiagnosed ectopic….will she survive? Kelsey, Barren-Bipolar, and JPS are overcome with tears and explore alcohol with negative Betas and miscarriages…and there are even rumors of special brownies! Will Lizz get a written apology from the hospital which screwed up ICSI? Raven comes to the realization that her ovaries are not younger than their biological age and starts auditioning young girls to be her “Ovary Angels”. Will Holmes vagazzle herself for her studly GI? She was heard saying “every girl needs a little bling.” Can LAP continue to get everyone to call her “Baroness” now that she is pregnant? BB gets her SISTER pregnant! Have one or more of the girls become drug pushers? Marriages stretched to the breaking point…can they spring back? How wild do the girls get when Kiellara takes them on an alcohol-filled weekend transported by Zeppelin? Is Golde a crack-whore? Has KB started a new religion worshiping Joan? Watch Dotty become part of this cult and experiment with honey, tea, candles and dust….will it work? Was Summer murdered in the bathroom late at night? Are the blobs growing? Will the girls combine their forces to destroy the evil Dave? Watch this season to see!!!
My only excuse is that my depression has led to many too many hours of watching this Bravo Series! My apologies for scarcsm regarding your real situations. This came to me during a dream last night! Feel free to have a cat-fight regarding your role. I’m sure there is some “lost tape” out there for the “Watch What Happens: Reunion Special” ---what do you think the highlights will be?
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Love it! Can't wait for the next episode of RHWOI!
ReplyDeleteAnd I've already got big hair and too much makeup goin' on. It helps me cope with my weight problem!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA Raven, love it! :D
ReplyDeleteI sense the start of a new career, Raven. LOL!
ReplyDeleteof course im a crack whore!! How else would my ivf have worked?
ReplyDeletei love it!!!
Hilarious!!!! Well done...
ReplyDeleteI actually live near and in the same bldg as 3 of the houswives of NYC... I wish Bethenny all the best, but DAMN was she lucky with her "surprise pregnancy" at 39... jealous much? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just popping in from my daily 3-hour workout and my expertly applied fake lashes, fake tits, fake tan, and gaudy bling to say ohmigod, you really hurt my feelings, sweetheart, but I will let bygones be bygones for 2 minutes until I go trash you to everyone I know. Let's now hug each other so that I can have the opportunity to stab you in the back.
ReplyDeleteHAAAAAAAHAHAHA Raven, totally made me laugh -- thanks, wino!!!
Bravo raven!
ReplyDeletelmao!
Will one or more of the RHWOI get evicted after spending their rent money on alcohol?
ReplyDeleteWill one of the RHWOI's husbands 'crash' the party on the Zeppelin?
Will Dr. House make a surprise appearance and bring a Crack & Honey cure for IF?
Fun times!
ReplyDeleteIn recent news...JPS declares that alcohol is so out and health is in as her beta dramatically drops to 108 and she is nearing the start of another go at it. She is losing weight at a record pace to try au natural in addition to recently starting to cut coupons saving her $55 to go toward adoption. She's really keeping her options open these days folks!
Way to go JPS. I'llput you in touch with my honey supplier.
ReplyDeleteGolde is DEFINITELY a crack whore.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like we're in for a Jane-tastic season!
Oh, and once a Baroness, always a Baroness. One tries to escape, but one rarely succeeds. Dahlink.
Ohhh, now we need a Countess too!
ReplyDeleteLOVE it! Hahah.. maybe we SHOULD start a series?!
ReplyDeletehahaha PRICELESS. I'll definitely be staying tuned to see what happens!!
ReplyDeleteCan I be the housewife who has to go to Rehab for Progesterone addiction?
ReplyDelete