Sorry I've been away. I've been on an IVF hiatus. No thinking about, reading about or talking about IVF. It's kinda been nice. Looks like I've missed a BUNCH. Sounds like we have some BFP's in our midst. Don't worry gals. I love ya anyways!
So, I got my AF yesterday. First one since D&C 5 1/2 weeks ago. I know it's completely insane, but we had lots of BMS... and I was just hoping...
Also got the results of the genetic testing back from embie. Turns out it was a chromosomal anomoly... and was never a viable pregnancy. They said it was Trisomy 15. I don't know if that makes me feel better or not. Finally get one to stick & it's not good anyways. She told us it was a little girl. That was just really upsetting to me. I wish she wouldn't have told us that. It was a little easier I think when it was an embie & not a girl. Still tearing up think about it.
So, my RE broached the subject of Donor Eggs. Looks like I'm just an all-around poor responder. She didn't say DOR, but she danced around it. Sucks. We went into this thinking we were MF alone & this should be easy... silly us. She said since we did the package deal & have one more try, lets try again with mine, but to keep DE in our thoughts in case it doesn't work. Frankly, if the next try doesn't work, I don't know that we'll try again. Plus, we're just broke financially from all this IVF & there is NO way we can aford the extra for DE's. That said, I was telling my mom & sisters (all great, btw) about it & two of my sisters offered to donate thier eggs. Needless to say, we all had a bawl about how great that was. The benefit is that it would save us some money, but at the same time, it would still be extra cost. Anyways, it's definitely something to think about.
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Momsie--welcome back. Sorry about the news. I think the only thing one can take from a genetic result that's abnormal is...at least this is something that is not wrong with me. Fluke. Could happen to anyone (young or old). Hopefully won't happen again. Sorry about the gender news. Makes it too real, I know.
ReplyDeleteCan you remind me (us)...how many cycles have you done? Do you have frozens? How many eggs are they getting from you each time? Is this too many questions?
Let's see...
ReplyDeleteIVF #1 ... Regular Lupron ... 4 mature ... 1 blast 5dt... BFN
IVF #2 ... Microdose Lupron ... cancelled due to poor response
IVF #3 ... Antagonist protocol ... 4 mature ... 3 xfered 3dt... BFP ... but... 2 stuck... one quit growing quickly & 1 made it to a very slow h/b ... then nothing.
So, no frosties unfortunately. Wish we had them. We did the Attain program which is 3 fresh & 3 frozen. No baby = partial refund. No frosties = no frozen cycles. So, our next fresh cycle is the last on that program.
I'd like to say I'm hopeful, but I've had so many ups & downs, I won't be hopeful until I see a h/b.
Hmmm... actually, as I review my last post, it's a little wrong. On cycle #3, we had 7 mature eggies, but only 4 fertilized. So, technically, we've gotten the most mature eggs on the Antagonist protocol so my RE wants to do that again.
ReplyDeleteAlso, evidently (according to the RE) my body responded excellently to being preggo. So, my issue seems to be with making eggs. DH's problem is that his "boys" are lovers & not fighters... and they evidently won't go thru the egg wall. He says they like to cuddle. So, if we can get some good eggies to ICSI, then we would have a fighting chance. But there I am sounding optimistic... yech.
I love the visual of the sperm "cuddling" the egg. If only that worked. Wow. You have wonderful sisters... even if you never take them up on it, it's nice to know that they would do that for you.
ReplyDeleteLOL! You should see him when he gets silly about it. He holds his hands up to his face and says "Hi little eggie. Aren't you so cute? Do you want to cuddle. Awwwwww." It's a riot.
ReplyDeleteMy sisters are all great. One said we'd have to wait a while for hers since she's currently preggo. We were actually 2 weeks apart in due dates. Kinda sucks since it was nice having her preggo at the same time. Now it just reminds me of where I would be if no m/c. My other sister has had 2 kids (neither planned) and says, "Well, we know I'm fertile!!!" LOL. I may end up taking one of them up on it. It's a lot to think about & process. That's for sure!
Hi Momsie! I've missed you.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe it took 5.5 weeks to get AF. I am wondering how long it will take me. I am sure you're a bit relieved to know why the PG didn't work. I know I am looking forward to finding out. To make sure it wasn't something I did or didn't do. But that it was just a bad egg. On the other hand I, like you, am concerned about never having a good egg.
I don't know how I would react about finding out the sex of the baby. I am sure it won't be unlike the way you did. I can see how that would be really upsetting. DH says he doesn't want to know. So I have to talk with me RE before we go in and let her know if I want to know seperately. Which, I kinda think I do. I feel like it would be closure.
We're also thinking about donor eggs...but we're concerned that even if you spend that hard earned money to do it there's no guarantee it would work. In theory it should be a total slam dunk but I have read too many horror stories of how it didn't work. I should ask my RE what they do if it doesn't work - do you still have to pay?! Probably, huh. I think we're thinking now that adoption is a sure thing and that we'd rather take the $11k that we'd have to pay out of pocket for donor egg and put it toward adoption fees. Have you and your DH talked about that? It's something to think about. ;-)
You are such a strong woman - I admire you. Also, you're so lucky to have sisters. I wish I had sisters like yours. So sweet for them to offer their eggies.
Momsie,
ReplyDeleteYou have been through so much. I so hope that this next round is successful for you. You do have options (your sisters are awesome!) if it isn't but I know that money is an issue. Like "hello little baby, welcome to the world - we have no home or car now, but it's all good!" LOL. I remind myself how lucky I am that my insurance will pay for 3 IVF's. We start number two in April. Who knows if that will be enough.
I two just got AF 5 weeks after my m/c and methotrexate. I did hear another gal say it took 3 months for her, so 5 weeks is just fine with me. Hang in there and be glad you have a husband with such a good sense of humor. He sounds like a riot. :)
Rie
momsie,
ReplyDeletewelcome back from your IVF hiatus.
Sorry to hear about the genetic testing results.
So glad to hear that your sisters are supportive!! My RE straight up told me that my best shot would be donor eggs from my sister. My sister is a biotch though, so we can't go there.
I have left over meds to donate to you too. But I kind of think these meds are cursed, but maybe we could have Joan pray over them and they will be *magic* meds.
momsie-i am sooo glad to hear from you! I think about you alot! Glad youre surviving and making plans. I know it would have broken my heart to find out the sex. But not knowing would have driven me crazy too. Damned if you do, damned if you dont! Love to you-and you better be around here more!!
ReplyDeleteHi momsie,
ReplyDeleteI too had a chromosome abnormality with my first pg. I too found out she was a girl. It was really surreal and still is - I was almost 13 weeks along and was super attached to our baby Sprout.
I think it's good to know that it was the embryo and not you, though it still hurts.
Your family sounds amazing and I am glad that your sisters are so supportive.
I agree with bbchi in her sentiment about the trisomy being a fluke - focus on that and move forward knowing that you can have healthy embryos. I hope your next cycle goes well and that you are able to do ICSI - my cycles have all been with ICSI and has yielded better fertilization results.
Best of luck!!!
You gals are so great! What would I do without you? I'd probably be in a little room with padded walls by now...
ReplyDeleteJPS - I got the impression from my RE's nurse that I should get my AF fairly quickly, but the research I did (google addict) said that 5-7 weeks is the average. You have to wait for the horomones to slowly drain from your system. I think as a result, I have had the WORST time with insomnia. I'm just hoping that was the reason. Since I've gotten it, I've actually been able to sleep. Hope you don't go through the same.
rie - Yeah. Welcome home baby to the cardboard shack! At least it's paid for! LOL! Can't help with college... still paying for you! I'm looking for a job right now. I'm really hoping that if I can find one, it has IVF coverage. I know that's a pipe dream, but man that would be nice!!!
ShawLove - I will take any meds... cursed or not! LOL! I'm in a frantic job hunt right now. My work had to change their hours (economy) so they're only open 31 hours a week... and there are 3 girls splitting that. We only need one at a time. So I'm getting 5 - 10 hours a week. Yuck. I've been sending resume's out by the dozens. Hopefully I'll get some news soon!
Golde - I've missed you!
Baby Bump - So sorry about your m/c. It just sucks sucks sucks. ICSI is my friend. We've done it on all our cycles. The first time we had 4/4 fertilize. Last time it was 4/7. I think it was because some of the eggies were a little too mature. I had a couple way out in front of the rest of the group.