I'm So Naive

I allowed myself to get excited. I told everyone I knew, even though my better judgement told me to wait until I was 10 weeks, after my 2nd u/s, and about to see my regular OB. After 4 great betas I spilled the beans at 6 weeks 1 day (can you say STUPID!!). At 6 wks 6dys, we saw our little one's heartbeat. Everything's great, right?! We had nothing to worry about! Wrong.

Four days later, home alone on a Sunday afternoon while DH was at work, I started having severe stomach pains. I had just had a little bit to eat and seriously thought it was severe gas pains...although I hadn't felt gas pains like this before. I couldn't sit down or even stand up straight. Everything was excruciating! I took my tempurature, my temp was low, not high. Threw up, felt a tiny bit better...enough to actually be able to curl into a ball and fall asleep. Slept about 30 minutes, woke up from the pain, threw up again, was so white I could have been Casper's twin. Was sweaty, shaky, and thought I might pass out. Decided I was ready to go to hospital but waited for DH to get home and take me. This whole ordeal lasted 5 1/2 hours before I made that decision to go to the hospital and DH got home to take me.

Ends up, my pregnancy was ectopic and had ruptured. Apparently I was strong and stable enough that I wasn't rushed into emergency surgery. I was transported to the hospital near my home, to the main branch in Atlanta where my RE's partner (who was on call that night) could do the surgery. There was still concern over whether or not the surgery should be done that night or the next morning. After having a back and chest spasm that bolted me upright in my hospital bed and that wouldn't allow me to breath (all brought on by the RE simply listening to my stomach), and in doing so, scaring the sh*t out of RE and DH, the surgery was on for that night. It was 13 hours between the time that the pain started and the time they began surgery. And no where in these 13 hours was I given pain meds, until RIGHT before the surgery started.
They removed the ectopic, cleaned out 1000cc's of blood, and closed off my other tube from my uterus so that this can't happen again. I came home from the hospital Tuesday afternoon.

Jes, I can't even fathom what you went through. I know it's the same but what you went through was on such a higher level than mine. It's been hard for me or DH to begin to process our loss because there's been so much to focus on physically. I think the emotional aspect is finally starting to take it's toll but it definitely took a while before we could even think about it.

It just sucks. Why do we have to go through this kind of crap after all that we have already suffered through? Will we ever catch a break!!