Does anyone ever have the thought that we're fighting the natural selection process? I worry that there's some reason I haven't been able to have a baby. That maybe I shouldn't keep pushing it. Some horrible gene I may pass on that's supposed to die out.
Then I worry that if I do manage to have a live birth that my poor child will have the same problems I have had. That I will freak out if they're not married by the time they're 25. I can only hope they get my husband's reproductive genes as he does not seem to be reproductively challenged like I am.
So uplifting, huh?
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that thought has definitely crossed my mind - that we're f-ing with nature. we were told that my DH's male factor is inherited. they say if we had a boy, he too would have it. icsi is the ONLY way we'd every be able to fertilize - which is definitely not natural. ugh - i just don't like to think about it and just pray i have a normal healthy child. also, this may be a really strange thought, but i was thinking that if i knew then what i know now, i would seriously have considered freezing some eggs when i was 29. then i would have good eggs to use whenever i met the right guy and wouldn't have to worry about a ticking clock. it's probably prohibitively expensive, but if money wasn't an issue, i think that would have been a crazy, but smart idea?
ReplyDeleteThe thought crossed my mind too but I figured that we're just speeding up the reproductive process. You get 10 eggs in one cycle and put back the best of the best. So technically you're just avoiding 9 failed natural cycles, right? Because the other eggs wouldn't have made it anyway. That's how I see it
ReplyDeleteIf natural selection were so effective, the toothless methwhores on welfare who can only afford to feed their 8 kids McDonalds wouldn't be reproducing. Unfortunately, McDonalds is cheap and ubiquitous, so they're here to stay (and reproduce, passing on their brainless, drug-addicted genes).
ReplyDeleteI hear ya and have wondered the same thing, but no. A person like you SHOULD reproduce -- you're obviously very intelligent and have already contributed much to society. So why should your genes not be passed on, but the people who I wish would just die out get to pass theirs on, for better or worse? No.
Just b/c our future kids MAY have difficulty conceiving doesn't mean they won't otherwise live healthy, productive, wonderful lives.
And there are plenty of people who require IF procedures even though they have no genetic issues (e.g., spinal cord injury).
So there.
Don't let yourself go there.
Mango....fucking hilarious and so fucking true!!! All of it!
ReplyDeleteThe thought too has crossed my mind, but if you think about it every form of medical intervention can beg the same arguement. If my husband or I had any medical impairment that offerered a "cure", we would pursue it. Cancer treatments, heart surgery, CPR, etc...etc... They all challenge the natural selection process.
We're worth the effort of trying to "fix" what's broken.
I worry about it from a religious perspective sometimes, b/c DH's family are staunch Catholics. We haven't shared with any of them what we're doing, for obvious reasons. But I wonder how I would respond to a criticism of messing with nature ... and I think I would say, "God helps those who help themselves." I think there's a reason this cool technology exists. It's so that those of us who would cherish a child and who want the experience of bearing a child might have a chance to.
ReplyDeleteI think the world would be a much worse place if we didn't pass our scarcastic genes along, don't you? :)
thanks bb. maybe u could throw in some of your eggs w/that rainbow. And make sure you send those eggs over on a unicorn.
ReplyDeletewhen is your u/s. i'm anxious to hear how many cribs you'll be buying =) So exciting!
I'm waiting till 2/24. The early 5 wk scan just stresses me out b/c you still don't know what's up. I've never gotten to an 8 or 10 wk scan but I'm sure they'll stress me out as well. I am unreassurable.
ReplyDeleteI think our buddy LAP had an ultrasound today and I would like to hear her results!
And if I make it thru this, you can have some of my 38 year old sad sack eggs for free!
Mostly I think about Fate. I am not a religious person, so I don't think I'm being 'punished', but I do wonder about whether it's 'meant to be'?
ReplyDeleteJes, I don't consider what happend to you is your fate. It could be considered really bad luck, or perhaps medical malpractice, but it's never a persons fate to lose both tubes to ectopics at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAt 23 I had an ectopic pregnancy in the rt tube. This was in 1993, before they began giving Methotrexate injections. They removed the rt tube and my OB at the time convinced me since I had an ectopic naturally, I was likely to have another in the left tube if I tried to have another baby. He talked me into having a ligation of the left tube. At 23, I was too stupid to question his logic. I took it as 'fate' that would never get pregnant again.
Now, of course I regret this decision. Yes, I could have kept the left tube and possibly had another ectopic pregnancy, and perhaps risked my life. That would have been relying on 'fate'. I also could have had a baby normally by now that was perfectly healthy.
I agree with HRD and Mangopuppy...Medical treatments that allow us to reproduce are not messing with natural selection. Them bad embryos are the ones that die off and give us BFN's, Blighted ovums, and miscarriages. These would not have survived under normal circumstances. What's sad are the normal babies born to women who don't want them, or can't take care of them. I don't think anyone should be able to decide who should or should not reproduce. I just wish the people who don't have issues with infertility were more careful and understand what a gift they have.
Bollocks to the fate and the destiny crap. I am not rolling over and giving up re all the IF crap. Mother nature may seem like a sweet and innocent person but I have my boxing gloves on and I am going to take her down!!
ReplyDeleteWell said sillydotty ;)
ReplyDeleteI think about this, too, sometimes. I like to think that maybe, just maybe, the supreme puppet master is TRYING to build an army of stupid, toothless trailer trash. So, I guess I am too good to help his army.
ReplyDelete