I think I have an alter ego. A mixture of crazy and stripper it sounds like but I like the name anyway.
So here is what is going on.... I am booked to have my hysteroscopy next Wed to check out what is going on in my uterus. Seen as it is not doing what it should... ie allow an embryo to implant and grow! However I keep having paranoid dreams about seeing myself hooked up to a ventilator with doctors talking over me. Now that's not such a stretch for me seen as I work in intensive care however seeing me as a pt is not nice. So of course that is getting me all worked up about what if something goes wrong with the op? I am not a worry wart type of person and nothing medical phases me (apart from this infertility crap) but this is really bugging me.
I have to go to the GP later on today to check out my recent blood tests (previously borderline anaemic so wanted a test to update FBC and iron studies). And lately I have been getting these weird heart palpitations where I feel like all of a sudden my heart has too many beats to contend with. So I am going to ask Gp about this b/c in my head I am thinking my heart is going to give out in the OT and I will end up on a ventilator......
Someone please give me a virtual slap across the face!
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Even though there are risks with hysteroscopy, they almost never happen and if they do are almost never serious. I DO NOT think your palpitations are going to lead to ventilator/gorked out status. You will be FINE!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry...we're all paranoid. It comes w/age and years of this IF bullshit. Maybe if we got t-shirts like the unicorn I just saw to the left w/a rainbow taht says "I'm special", we'd geel better. It's hard to type a serious post because those unicorns are cracking me up!
I agree - the unicorns are cracking me up! So, here you go....virtual SLAP! Snap out of it! (though your paranoia is well-earned)
ReplyDeleteI had a dream the other night that I didn't know I was pregnant (like that show on TV) and I ended up having twins! We didn't name them for a few days b/c we were so shocked. Uh, yeah, right, I've had baby names picked out since middle school!
Dear Paranoid Petunia-
ReplyDeleteAt least you're not talking to imaginary pursuers, hiding in the closet because the CIA and FBI have bugged your house, or wearing a foil cap because you think it prevents aliens from reading your thoughts. Okay. You're a little scared, which is understandable because you're a nurse and you've seen worst-case scenarios. If it helps at all, I recently had a hysteroscopy and it was easier (less painful) than my egg retrievals. It's really no big deal. I think it would be better if we had no TIME to worry... like if they just said- "Okay, we think you need a hysteroscopy. We'll do it right now. Please put on this gown" and that was it! (of course, this can't be because it has to happen on certain days in the monthly cycle, but we can wish...)
Unicorn tail slap coming right up... uh oh... you got some rainbow sparkles on your face.
Summer - I had a minor surgery for a blocked tear-duct in my right eye a few years ago and had to have general anesthesia. I think because I work in a hospital too, I was worried that something would go wrong and I would end up in the ICU on a vent. It's normal. I thought you said you were having a laparoscopy which probably would require anesthesia, but a hysteroscopy does not. I've had two hysteroscopies and they only gave me a Torodol shot and a Valium for both procedures. Either way, you will be fine.
ReplyDeleteThanks for my virtual slaps!! I first thought I was a lap but all the forms came to me saying hystero. Which makes sense seen as I need to know what is going on with my uterus not my pelvic/abdomen area. Lap go in through the belly button, hystero up through the hoo-ha.
ReplyDeleteMy Mum is finally getting home after travelling for a year tomorrow so at least I will have a real person to be slapping me back into reality!! If DH tries it I would just slap him back!!
You work at a hospital, and now you're undergoing a procedure, so I think this is about feeling out of control. You're usually on the other side of the situation. I had similar feelings before undergoing surgery, even though I had had a couple of major surgeries in the past and knew my body handles it well.
ReplyDeleteNo charge for the psychotherapy, my dear. :) Good luck.
LAP