Good article...but almost made me cry.

Wasn't expecting that reaction from myself....

Washington Post: Too Much to Carry?

Needing encouragement!!

Not feeling to good right now!! I just spoke with the acupuncturist at my clinic and the conversation was not very good. He was asking all types of questions and trying to find out what is going on with me. He told me with the number of eggs I had (14) and the number that was left after day 5 (4) it seems as though I may have an egg quality issue. He told me it's common with woman who have had a hydrosalpinx like I did. He also asked me if I have PCOS because I have very heavy AF and lots of clotting (which only started after my tubal surgery) I'm afraid now that it may be a waste of time to put those eggs back in. My RE also suggested that I may have bad egg quality due to the Hydro so now I'm freaking out again. Anyways he wants me to call him next week to come in for my first treatment. He wants me to do a few b4 transfer but honestly I have very little hope right now that this is going to work at all. Has anyone heard of people getting pregnant even with bad quality eggs? I just need some support right now to give me a little more hope than I have at the moment!!

Negative. Again.

Well, it's a negative again.

I was positive for the past week that it would be negative, but got some stupid false hope this morning (where the fuck did that come from?)

Anyway, I am broken. Still at work and have children coming into my room in 13 minutes. So, I know if I start crying I won't stop. Just taking deep breaths...

I called the nurse line for an appointment with my "let's do a million IVFs and hope for the best" doctor. I would like him to do more testing. This time I will be armed with a list so I won't forget. My mission is to make him realize my insurance is nearly gone and I can't play his "wait and see" game.

Anybody have any questions I should ask, or testing that should be done?

Infertility Grants and Such

For those of you who don't read my blog often, I'll post this on here and the Groups. I wrote an article about saving money on infertility treatments. It focuses on infertility grants/scholarships but also talks about clinical trials, fundraisers and getting free meds. Click here to read it. Most of the grants are still accepting applications for this year. Good luck!!

Question?

I posted this in the google group but I'm posting it here too...

I'm thinking about doing my FET in April now (yes the latest pregnancy has helped change my mind) however, I have only been back on my pregfit with 5 mg of folic for the last 13 days plus taking ASA. I read recently that you should be taking them for atleast 2 months b4 getting pregnant. Do you girls think it matters much or should I be good to go? I figure my transfer should be around the 20th os so or April. So any advice what I should do??
I was also going to call today to go for some accupunture. What's the amount of accupunture that you girl recommend to be most effective

Any help or advise would be much appreciated

I would have posted this as another reply to my original post but it's been over a week and I wanted to make sure those of you who were interested saw it...

Thanks for all the love and support! I know I've been missing again for over a week, I've just been trying to deal with everything and I've had family down from out of state. It was nice to have them here but I realized a few days into it that they were more of a distraction than anything and I wasn't dealing with things. Thankfully DH and I have had the house to ourselves again but unfortunately I had to go back to work after just one week and one day off. :o( It's been horrible!! Seriously. Jes, I know you were out of work for a lot longer, how were you when you did finally go back to work? Was it a living hell?! That's what it's been like for me. Thankfully my friends in the office have threatened the ones in the office who I don't like that much and because of it they've all left me alone since I've been back. I'm just waiting for one of them to slip so I can throat punch them!

I've also had quite a few of you ask questions about the embryo moving after seeing the heartbeat. That was the first thing I was wondering when I was told it was ectopic. I told DH that I didn't believe that could happen. I was right. Apparently the ectopic was sitting right up against the uterus (or on top of it) in a way that could have made it appear that it was in the uterus. My RE didn't do the surgery last week but his partner, who was on call did. I haven't spoken with my RE yet but his partner Dr T. spoke with him before my surgery and my RE said he was sure it was in utero.

I really do love my RE and think he's a good doctor but I'm pissed at the same time. He SHOULD have seen that it was in my tube! I realize that that wouldn't have changed the end result...me no longer being pregnant, but it would have saved me a lot of pain! I do know that he's only human though and that everyone makes mistakes. There were no big red flags saying that I had a problem, I had 4 beta tests and they were all really good and the numbers were doubling like they should. I would like to see about getting a free or discounted cycle out of this though! We'll see how that goes... And you better believe that next time I'm going to make sure they are 100% SURE that my blob is where it's supposed to be. I'll lay there for an hour with my legs spread for the vuvu cam if I have to! But they better be damn sure that everythings okay before they get my hopes up like that again!

I have a confression... *gulp*

I have been reluctant to post this for about 2 months now, but since there is a air-date involved, I thought I'd share some exciting news.
As some of you know, I have been through hell and back with TTC. I have been TTC for 4 years, have been through 2 fresh and 2 frozen cycles, 2 IUIs and have had 2 losses. I have been moved beyond words by not only my experience, but by those I have met that have been through so much to try to have a baby.

Last year, while working with a documentary production company, I brought them the idea of doing an Infertility documentary. We started filming me as I was cycling and decided to put the film on pause as it was way too difficult for me to be on both sides of the camera and it was that much more emotionally challenging to be filmed while I was going through all the madness.

I know deep within my soul and heart that being an advocate for infertility awareness and support is what I feel most passionate about and I will do whatevver it takes to make our voices heard.

I will even film a personal segment for The Today Show that will air on Friday, April 2nd!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am freaking out a little bit as I am worried about saying too much or not enough. I worry that I didn't represent our plight to be heard or that they will edit out the strong points I tried to make. I am also freaking out a bit about being on national TV and exposing myself and my husband.

I do know that I am doing this for my baby Sprout (passed 5/17/08) and for all of us that are living through a very difficult and challenging process to become moms.
Anyways, if you watch the Today Show, you just may see me trying to shine a little light on an otherwise dark and painful reality of our lives.

Yikes!!!!
Oh and I promise I didn't fart any rainbows....

WLB 3/23 ...

I think we should call our posts the IVF 20 ... LOL... I still love that! How's everyone doing? I seem to have hit a plateau at -7 lbs. That's ok though. I dropped those quick... now the real work starts!

I've been slowly loosing motivation the past few days... so this morning I was quite brutal with myself. I tried on the bikini I hope to wear on the cruise in May. It's not new, but it's a couple years old & a couple pounds ago... So, I'm back to being motivated. It wasn't a pretty picture. I also called my RE & told her that we'll be doing our last try starting the end of May (when we return). So, there's a little extra motivation to throw in there.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Surrogacy question (Bbchi?)

I haven't had my beta yet, but I am 99% positive it didn't work (again), and my SIL (who I am VERY close to. She is the wife of my husband's twin, so we are always together) has offered to be a surrogate. She had two kids very easily(within a month of trying both times-hate her), no miscarriages, and no problems during her pregnancies, so she's perfect.

I think I am done slaying embryos (That can be my new nickname: Embryo Slayer), and would like some of my frozen ones to have a fighting chance. I just had a few questions about it.

1. Does the surrogate need to have a specific blood type? Are there other biological factors such as this that may be involved?

2. Does insurance pay for this to happen, or is it all out of pocket? (I figured we would be paying for the transfer and any meds for her, but are the check-ups and stuff covered by most plans?)

3. Do all REs do it, or is it too controversial? (I plan to ask for a meeting with my RE to discuss this.)

4. Are the success rates the same as a "regular" transfer, or even higher if the surrogate has already been a mother?

Can any of you give me info or lead me to it?

Thanks!

IVF Barbies

This is SO funny...and true.  *sigh*

The only problem I have with it is that not all REs are Kens...some of them are Barbies, too!

IVF Barbies