I confess:

My DH just said to me...bad news comes in 3's right?

1.) DH's dad is widowed and couldn't afford his townhome anymore. So we finally got an offer on it w/a date to close at the end of November. We moved him into an apartment. The damn thing still hasn't closed. The buyer's mortgage guy is a buffoon. Finally we got them to try a different person for the mortgage. Last night, got news that he can't get the buyer her loan because her co-signer (while she makes enough $$) basically has no credit history. Not a bad one, just none. So now he's in an apartment and the deal to buy his place may be in the shitter. Well, you say, just let the mortgage go into forclosure. Oh, that would be easy if DH hadn't cosigned a loan for his parents when they needed to refi their mortgage to get money out to pay for bills. So there goes our credit score. Total cluster fuck. I actually hate the phrase "cluster fuck" but can't think of anything better to use.

2.) We were going to get a rate change on our mortgage which would have dropped our interest rate 2%. Just talked to the bank this a.m. and they are renigging on their offer. Bad market, they say. No shit.

3.) What will the 3rd bad news be? Freaking out. About Wednesday. What if there's nothing alive in there? What if it's 3 in there? Why didn't we just put back 2 embryos? Are we greedy? When I have bad thoughts about all of this is that putting the bad thoughts out in the "universe" thus making them likely to come true? (anyone read "The Secret"?) With my past failures, am having a hard time just sticking to good positive thoughts. But maybe the 3rd bad news was just my husband getting stuck at work last night till 1030pm. Seemed bad at the time. DH also freaking out though. He actually told me to sneak my sister into the office and scan her tomorrow. But then my stomach started doing flip flops thinking about it. I don't think I can do it.

I was doing so great yesterday afternoon. It was 45 degrees and sunny and I had my window open driving home from work. Figured the weekend always goes by quick and then Wednesday would be here before you know it.

Now everything seems gloomy and doomy. Maybe I should just start hitting the bottle now. That always helps right?

I know I should be happy and grateful to be in a possible BFP position and for my awesome sister but I'm having a hard time right now.